The second chapter of Power Through Prayer begins with this truth:

The sweetest graces by a slight perversion may bear the bitterest fruit.

E. M. Bounds, Power Through Prayer (page 17)

I know it’s true because it’s true of me. I started this journey with high ideals of deepening my prayer life. But today, I’m face-to-face with my hypocrisy. Yes, my desire for a deeper prayer life remains, yet it has never been more than a faint flicker on my horizon. My real aim was the outward proof: fresh blog posts, a book review, and the reputation of a writer and thinker.

What a horrible picture the Holy Spirit is showing me of myself. I thought I was prepared when I committed to reading the book and writing about it, one chapter a day. The task seemed manageable, I felt capable, but I was wrong.

I’m not prepared, was never prepared, for the depth God is taking me to make me see the true condition of my soul and the true intentions of my heart. I was in a cloud of self-manufactured ‘holiness’, of such superior thought, lost in my own self-importance that I didn’t see the ravine until I was tumling head-over-heels down it.

The preaching that kills is non-spiritual preaching, writes Bounds. I had undertaken this project to review this book in written form, my vocation, and though I’m preaching its lessons, I’m not doing so in the right spirit. The lessons are on my lips, my heart is elsewhere; I’m preaching truths I’ve yet to live.

Writing is my calling, yet here I am, reviewing a book and preaching its message while lacking the very spirit it requires. I’m performing the work without grace. Performance. That’s been about it for me. Just another blog post to fill out my content calendar and appease the algorithm.

E. M. Bounds writes…

The life-giving preacher is a man of God, whose heart is ever athirst for God, whose soul is ever following hard after God, whose eye is single to God, and in whom by the power of God’s Spirit the flesh and the world have been crucified and his ministry is like the generous flood of a life-giving river.

E. M. Bounds, Power Through Prayer (page 18)

What a contrast. It reminds me of a film adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s novel The Picture of Dorian Gray that I watched years ago. The difference between the seemingly okay image I present to the world and the real, broken, prideful me I am inside. Instead of a secret portrait locked away somewhere that holds my true likeness, it’s the Holy Spirit who knows the real me and doesn’t hesitate to hold it up to the light.

Lesson to learn

Everything we do and say, and how we do and say it, tells something about us. Our life shows how deep or how shallow our faith, conviction, and relationship with God really is.

I believe that each gift and talent God gives us is to equip us to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ, of His Kingdom. And we’re always preaching, our lives sermons. Without God, we cannot preach with conviction. Without the Holy Spirit girding us, directing our steps, filling us to overflowing with His presence, we’re just like those bobbing heads some people like to put on the dashboard of their cars.

God calls us to holiness, and we cannot even think of how to be holy without the Holy Spirit’s help.

This journey is far more dangerous than I first realised, for I must now face myself, see who I’ve become, and finally make a choice.

Prayer prompt

Reflect on God’s mercy and grace. Ask Him to show you where you’re going wrong and to correct your path. Ask Him to realign your heart to His.

God bless you in your journey. Amen

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What truths did you learn about yourself when reading ‘Power Through Prayer? Share your thoughts on the book and how it has changed your life in the comments section below.